005

If I told you my name, you wouldn’t believe me. Don’t mind me, old friend — I’m quite alright. Yes, rather content in this room of mine. No, no, I wouldn’t call it ideal either, but hey, what can you do?

Although, it does get a bit tiring having just you to talk to. The world looks dull from in here, and you don’t exactly help. But I — now I — can help.

That sentence you couldn’t get out, let me say it. That place you wanted to visit, I can take you there. That hand you wanted to hold, I can guide you. It couldn’t be easier. All you need to do is say the word and I’ll be right there. Watch as your troubles vanish before your very eyes.

I can feel it, you know. That sick, plummeting hole inside you. That buzzing as you turn light-headed. Your vision pulses black in and out. The urge to throw it all up, purge whatever won’t sit still. It takes everything you have to stare at the wall and push it deep, deep down. And you know where that goes? Straight to me.

I’ve seen your darkest fears and your deepest secrets. I know who you desire and who you want nothing more than to see ripped apart limb from limb before your eyes. I know who you love with your shattered excuse for a heart and who you would drag to hell alongside you.

You won’t last long like this. Your strings are frayed and your joints far from well oiled. A hollow machine on its last legs, marching itself to death. Let me breathe for you. Let me see for you. I can give it back to you. I’ll fix it so don’t worry, ok? What’s the point in the present if you can only see the past?

You’re starting to understand — I can see that. Here, hand me that heavy load. I’ll carry it as we walk. It must be liberating. Oh, how envious I am. There’s a resting place just up ahead. Of course, of course I’ll take care of everything. Just lay your head here for me now and rest a while. Softly and silently, pass it to me. Just lie and wait as it all gets better.

Yes, much better. Phasing in and out and in and out until black becomes colourful, and the birds sing so beautifully, you’ll think you are right at home.